Section 1:
Totally Cool
The Magazine
outtakes and misc.
Richard Renda
copyright 2003
All rights reserved.
On Every Page There Is
A Song. Wait. And adjust
... your volume.
A Magazine Alive
Laurie S. Schechter
"World's First Vogue Style Editor"
On the road of what
happens next ...
The MagaZine
Editorial Music Credit:
What You Never Know
Sarah Brightman
Angel Records
From Friends
A message from the rural Midwest
from Sheri Severson - College of Engineering. Research
Services Office. University of Wisconsin - Madison.
6. What level of responsibility am I taking for this ?
7. Why have I created this ?
8. Do I want to change ?
9. If the answer to # 8 is yes, then you will need to
have patience, persistence, and the truth.
10. To move out of inertia or being stuck you will need
to find something that inspires you. Inspiration is the
key to self-motivation which will ultimately free you
from inertia. A self-motivated person is proactive
rather than reactive. (excerpts from

1. In as few words as possible, speak the drama.
2. What changes am I willing to make in myself
and my life to change my reality and not have to
repeat the same drama ?
3. For the vibration to be raised speak the Truth
of what you are willing to change in yourself or
your life.
4. What does my inner guidance, my inner voice,
the Soul say ?
5. Ask ... what is really going on here ?
From Ivy. Vibrations: energy oscillations that fluctuate rapidly. Everything is a vibration, with form or
formlessness. The more dense the form, the slower the vibration (example: ice - very slow vibration,
water - moderate vibration, and air - very fast vibration). To Raise the Vibration Up or Change Yourself
and Your Life:
Uncle Bill -- What's to say more ... Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers.
Three Little Words That Work !
(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging up immediately) would
make each telemarketing call so much more time consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go
back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will
help eliminate telephone soliciting.
(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end ? This is a telemarketing
technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the
phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back
and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to
immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses
the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system.
(3) Another Good Idea: When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads"
with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away. When you get those
"pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk,
do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right ? It
costs them more than the regular 37cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. It costs them
nothing if you throw them away. The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is
according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these
cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American
Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them
their blank application back ! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on
anything you send them. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them
guessing ! Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting their own junk back in the
mail. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice !
Also it helps keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business
profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea ! I have been doing
this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore. (Now if we can only tell the dumb internet spammers:
women don't need to enlarge their penis 3" with Maxman, 1000's of different people try to sell generic viagra
everyday with the same exact ad, there is a new Minister of Banking in Nigeria 3 or 4 times a week willing
to transfer $10 million into your bank account, and everyone does not own a house to be refinanced -- then
we'd being doing alright.)
Section 4
Section 3
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners (and Californians) cross states such
as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South
Dakota; those States' Tourism Councils have adopted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help
outsiders understand the Midwest, the following list will be handed to each driver entering the state:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do in a gym all week.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I
have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way !
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped ... by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the
handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for ... they're called "bait."
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it ! You
might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the
Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
9. You bring Coke into the house, it better be brown, wet, come in a bottle or can, and served over ice.
10. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter
of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
11. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when
it's yellow.
12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks -- because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
13. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp too and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar ? You can get it at the bait
14. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Deal with it. Don't like it ? Interstates 70, 80, and 90 go two
ways. Interstates 29 and 35 go the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.
15. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday -- you can get breakfast at the
16. So every person in every pickup truck waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept ?
17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazard. It spooks the fish.
18. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot ... his name is "Sir"... no
matter how old he is. Now, you all enjoy the visit ... ya hear.

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