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On Every Page There Is
A Song. Wait. And adjust
... your volume.
A Magazine Alive
The MagaZine
Section 1:
Editorial Music Credit:
Ride The River
Dire Straits
Warner Bros. Records
From
Friends
Another Chapter In The Book
Gail Chapter
You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You answer the door, before people knock.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the
coffee.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
You're the employee of the month at Starbucks and you
don't even work there.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You're so wired you pick up FM radio.
You have a picture of your coffee mug, on your coffee
mug !
(and yeah... I know you're the tea drinker ! LOL)

You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee When --
From: Gail and Beth. Forwarded from our friend. Amusing. This was sent by a friend who
noted that a group of Syrians decided to hold an anti-American rally. Since they couldn't read
and write English for their protest signs, they found an English speaker to "translate" their anti
American slogans for them. They apparently made the mistake of asking the wrong guy to
help them ... and ... he took matters into his own hands.
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can
do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've l earned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just
plain jackasses.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're
finished.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty
things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are
celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in
your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken
from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go
away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.
As always, keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to !

Subject: as I grow older. From: "Steve & Cinda
From: Maria. This is a test of the
Emergency Friendship System --
forward it to all your friends
(Hope I get one, too !) PS:
Thanks Maria. Thanks Gail.
Consider this sent back to you.

... a Friend does most or all of
these ...
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you !
(E)nvisions the whole of you
(even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust tries to "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life

(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you
need to hear it.
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains things you don't
understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
OK THIS IS A TEST TO SEE HOW
MANY FRIENDS YOU HAVE !
PASS IT ON TO EVERYONE YOU
CONSIDER A FRIEND
OR WOULD LIKE TO HAVE AS A
FRIEND. SEE HOW MANY TIMES
YOU GET IT BACK.
From: Ilene. Subject: new Virus Alert
There is a new virus. Its code name is WORK. If you receive
WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail or any other
means, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus
wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to
come in contact with WORK ... follow these steps:
1. Put on your jacket and take two colleagues and go straight to
the nearest bar.
2. Order ten drinks and drink them one right after the other as
fast as you can. You will find that WORK has now been
completely deleted from your brain.
Forward this virus warning to at least 5 friends. Should you
realize that you don't have 5 friends, this means that you are
already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your
whole life.

From: Mac.
Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood
(one of whom was from South Carolina and the
other from Texas) were conversing on the porch
swing of a large, white-pillared mansion. The first
woman, who was from Texas, said, "When my
first child was born, my husband built this
beautiful mansion for me." The South Carolina
lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice ?"
The Texas woman continued, "When my second
child was born, my husband bought me that fine
Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
Again, the lady from South Carolina commented,
"Well, isn't that nice ?"
The Texas woman boasted, "Then, when my third
child was born, my husband bought me this
exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the South
Carolina lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice ?"
The woman from Texas then asked her
companion, "What did your husband
buy for you when you had your first child?" The
lady from South Carolina replied "My husband
sent me to charm school."
"Charm school ?", the first woman cried, "Land
sake's, child, what on Earth for ?"
The South Carolina lady responded, "So that
instead of saying 'Who gives a *&^% ?' I learned
to say, "Well, isn't that nice ?"
A recipe for the famous Nesselrode cookies.
Nesselrode pies, candies, cakes, puddings are named after
Count Nesselrode, a Russian statesman of the mid-19th
century. The original Nesselrode pudding was invented by his
chef, Monsieur Mouy. It consisted of custard, chestnuts, glace
cherries, candied fruit peel, sultanas, currants, liquor, and
cream. It is very time consuming to prepare and was very
popular in its day, perhaps because of its expense and
difficulty. There are a number of pie, cookie, pudding recipies
in addition to the original. Often anything with candied fruit,
nuts (usually almonds), raisins, was named "Nesselrode."
Laura Winters-Duke.
NESSELRODE BARK
1 (12-ounce) package white baking chips. 1/2 teaspoon rum
extract. 1/3 cup chopped red candied cherries. 1/4 cup coarsely
chopped walnuts or almonds. 2 tablespoons golden raisins.
1. Melt baking chips in 1-quart saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly, until smooth (2 to 3 minutes). Stir in
rum extract. 2. Immediately pour mixture onto aluminum foil-lined baking sheet, spreading evenly to about 1/4-
inch thickness. Immediately top with cherries, walnuts and raisins; press down lightly. 3. Cover; refrigerate one
hour. Break into pieces. Makes 4 dozen candies. Vintage Cookbooks ? You can find over 1000 vintage
cookbooks at -- http://www.tias.com/cookbooks

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