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The MagaZine


The Music Credit:
Wall In Your Heart
Shelby Lynne
Island Records

plus ...

c. 2002 - Totally Cool . All RIghts Reserved
With Every Turn There Is A Song.
Wait. And Adjust ...
your volume.
"The Official Editorial Authority"
What To Say
Stay Tuned - There Is
Much more to look at --
Special Section

Happy Birthday
From The Heart.

ToTaLLy CoOL
The MagaZine
TotallyCool.net
written by Rene Chun
"The

No part of this Works, may be published or
reproduced in anyway without expressed
permission: in writing from the copyright
holders. c. 2002 All rights reserved.
After reeling off a handful of bawdy Russian phrases, one of which includes slapping his buttocks violently
with the palm of one hand, Irina is impressed enough to flirt back. Being a bikini.com Supermodel, this
isn't difficult either. She repeatedly bends over to tug at her dress, which appears to be airbrushed onto
her body like a giant decal. Each time she leans forward, she flashes an ample amount of sun-kissed
cleavage. "Great body," Sylk concedes dispassionately, like a cattleman appraising a prize heifer at a
county fair. A Russian swimsuit model pouring him Johnny Walker Black, while he chain smokes Malboro
Reds and contemplates his next reckless assault on The Fashion World. At this precise moment, Jason
Sylk Itzler / Itlzer Sylk (whatever) is happy. He isn't always happy. When you're bipolar manic-depressive,
with borderline personality disorder (i.e., split personality / psychotic), that's impossible. But right now,
with the liquor, nicotine and god knows what else coursing through his veins, with Irina vibing him and
Sarde wafting through the room like opium vapors, Sylk is, to use his own words, "crazy happy."
Model

Sweat Shop"

But happiness for Sylk is a fleeting thing. Someone is always lurking in the shadows, waiting to snatch it
away: vindictive business partner, scorned girlfriend, the I.R.S., the Mafia, the police, some s.o.b. lawyer.
Lawyers are the worst. Sylk should know. He's a lawyer. Well, not a real lawyer. He didn't bother to
take the bar exam. But he did graduate from Law school and "knows lots of legal stuff." So much legal
stuff, in fact, that he often presents himself as a lawyer, which more than one deluded fashion victim can
attest to. Sylk doesn't dress like a lawyer though. He's from South Beach. And as such, he's wearing
what everyone in SoBe thinks people in SoHo wear black. The look is Sonny Crocket meets Johnny
Cash: black jeans, black T-shirt, black boots, black blazer. The blazer, conservatively cut and 2 sizes too
big, hangs awkwardly on his angular frame. Prada it's not. Looks like half a Lohmans suit borrowed from
his father's closet. His face, punctuated by saucer-shaped brown eyes and framed by a tousled wisp of
hair, bears a striking resemblance to a Japanese anime character. It is a face some might describe as
boyish. Look closer though and the indelible lines of desperate living stand out in bold relief. Ask him
what he looks like and he'll earnestly reply, "Keanu Reeves in Speed." Jason's perception of reality is
vastly distorted.
This is the crux of the matter, the thing that gets him into so much trouble. In Jason's mind, he is a lawyer.
A lawyer that just happens to look like Keanu Reeves. Not the lawyer Keanu played in -- "The Devil's
Advocate" of course. Jason Sylk doesn't do hair gel. But a lawyer none the less. He's said it so often to so
many people that he genuinely believes it. He also believes, among other things, that he: is a close friend
of director Brett Ratner (Rush Hour 2); has a good shot at managing the career of hotel heiress/party girl
Nikki Hilton; once owned a bar in South Beach called the Strand; is the grandson of a Jewish mobster
(that one's actually true); and is the author of a for-charity-only-We-Are-The-World-type-anthem that
Bobby Brown promised to produce for Whitney to sing (because Jason "wants to give something back
to the community"). He paid fifteen grand to Brown's bodyguard to set up the meeting. What's not to
believe ? But most of all, right now, at this precise and exceedingly happy moment, Sylk believes he is a
player on the New York fashion scene.

He also believes, among other things, that he: is best friends with party promoter Mark Baker; "got invited
to participate in the buy-out of Ford"; is on the verge of becoming Marco Glaviano's new business partner
in the Pier 59 photo studio; may start a new model management company with "fashion lawyer" Robert J.
Hantman; almost succeeded in setting up a Warren Tricomi hair salon franchise (Mr. Warren admitted he
met Jason Sylk, but requested that he and his salon not be mentioned); and just might end up merging with
Q Models, a downtown agency.

The 7th On Sixth -
C.F.D.A. Scandal

ToTaLLy CoOL
The Fashion Runway - Raised.
2 Stories Above The Ground.
The Legendry "NYC 2002" !
In Times Square. Photo credit and
captured moment courtesy of, yours
truly: ToTaLLy CoOL
Richard Renda.
c. all rights reserved.

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