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The Music Credit:
Summer's Child
Ric Marlow
NLN Productions
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We needed a cat to mind the house so we looked around the computer.
It is a Theme.
|
A LIST OF DOS AND DON'TS FOR YOUNG INEXPERIENCED CATS
WHO HAVE A HOUSEHOLD TO RUN
IF YOU HAVE TO THROW UP . . .
Get into a chair or sofa quickly. If you cannot Manage this in time, get to an Oriental rug. Lacking an
Oriental rug -- a shag rug is good and will do fine.
GUESTS: ABOUT THEM . . .
After dinner, when walking on the dinner table among the dishes, be prepared to look surprised and hurt
when chided. The idea to convey is "but you let me do it when there is no company".
Determine quickly which guest HATES cats. Sit on that lap during the evening. They won't dare push
you off and might even call you "nice Kitty". If you can arrange to have cat food on your breath so much
the better.
For sitting in laps or rubbing against trouser legs: select colors which contrast with your own. (For example:
white, grey, or siamese colored cats try a good black wool lap. For the black cat any white shirt does fine.)
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
For guests who say: "I love kitties" be ready with (a) aloof disdain (b) claws applied to stockings
(c) a quick sharp nip on the ankle.
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DOORS: ABOUT THEM . . .
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get one open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws.
Once the door is opened for you, it is not necessary to use it. You can change your mind. When you
have ordered an out door opened, stand half in and half out ... and think about several things. This is
particularly important during very cold weather or mosquito season. Don't worry. They will not close
the door on you. Also -- Avoid Swinging Doors.
HAMPERING . . .
If one person in the household is busy and another is idle, sit with the busy one.
Following are the main tips for hampering:
a. For book readers get close under the chin ... unless of course, you can lie accoss the book itself.
b. For a lady knitting, curl quietly in her lap and pretend to doze. Then reach out and slap the knitting
needles sharply. This will cause what she calls a dropped stitch. She will try to distract you. Ignore it.
For people doing paper work, sit on the paper being worked on. After being removed for the second time,
push anything moveable off the table ... pens, pencils, stamps, etc.
When all is done ... go lay in your bed and look exhausted. Then start all over again the next day. Your
owner(s) will love you even more. |
The Showroom Circuit
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For A Look Around
RED Links Are Hot !
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plus ...
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Seam Less
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Our City Of The World
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"The Official Editorial Authority"
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With Every Turn Of The Page
There Is A Song.
Wait -- For It To Arrive.
And Adjust ... your volume.
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Stay Tuned. On
the road of what
happens ...
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Special Section
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Happy Birthday From
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September Concert
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Down Under In NY
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What To Say
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Model Sweat Shop
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The 7th On Sixth -
C.F.D.A. Scandal |
Put To Bed
Bridal Designer
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The Story Line
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Section 3
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