MyMyWhatSay

A man, his wife and his cranky mother-in-law went on vacation to the
Holy Land. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for
$5,000 or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150."

The man thought about it for a while and told the undertaker he
would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why ... why would you spend $5,000

to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful

to be buried here and spend only $150 ?"

The man said, "A man died here about 2000 years ago. He

was buried here and three days later -- he rose from the dead.

I just can't take that chance."

Subject: Time Spent With Dad...

So, you take your young son to his first ball game.

Good father and son stuff .. right ?

Super Male bonding, right ?

You buy him a coke ... pop corn... a ballcap and three hot dogs.

Then, whack ... he sees his first homer . . .

Will he remember this wonderful day spent with you ?

Will he remember the special unique taste of the ball park hot dogs ?

Will he often think of that tremendous boomer home run ?

NAHHHHHHHH ~~~~~~~~

What will he remember ???

THINGS TO PONDER:

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at
which one can die.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a
day; teach a person to use the Internet and
they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like a Slinky ..... not really
good for anything, but you still can't help but
smile when you see one tumble down the
stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200
and a substantial tax cut saves you 30 cents ?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.

And the last thought to ponder:

We know exactly where 1 cow with mad cow
disease is located among the millions and
millions of cows in America. But actually we
haven't got a clue as to where thousands of
illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe the U.S. should put the Department of
Agriculture in charge of immigration. Could be
a good idea to ponder.

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.
Funny. But true. A friend just went through something like
this but it had to do with the Department of the New York
State Motor vehicles office. Her husband died months
ago. But the Department was going to fine him if he did
not turn in his license. How could he turn it in if he is not
here ? Dead means not here, find him somewhere else.
You might say you can take the story below to the bank

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Bank: "The account was never closed. The late fees and charges
still apply."

Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Bank: "Since it is two months past due it already has been."

Family Member: So what will they do when they find out she

is dead ?"

Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report
her to the credit bureau, maybe both."

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her ?"

Bank: "Excuse me ?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the

part about her being dead ?"

Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

After they get the fax:

Bank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know

what more I can do to help."

Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great ! If not,

you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address ?"

Bank: "That might help."

Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway
129, Plot Number 69."

Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery."

Family Member: "Well ... what do you do with dead people
on your planet ?!! "

This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening with
customer services in many organizations being what

they are today. A lady died in January and The Bank billed
her February and March for their annual service charges
on her credit card. And then added late fees and interest
on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00.
Now it is somewhere around $60.00. A family member
placed a call to The Bank and here is the conversation.

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Bank: "The account was never closed . So the late fees and
charges still apply."

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate ?"

Bank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer ?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death ?"

Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

Christopher Duncan

Reality Check ... for an Imperfect World. The
Value of Courtesy. Considerate behavior may
not be the current popular trend, but when
you make courtesy a priority -- it improves the
quality of everyone's lives, including your
own.