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On page Music Credit:
Collective Soul
Atlantic Records
Welcome To
Joe Heuer's
It Is TIME To Laugh ! ! !
" If you want to Capture the World,
capture it with a net ... a "

Beer Cans: What will always be rolling around on the floor of your car the day the boss asks for a
ride home from the office.
Better: What we instantly feel when we find out our neighbor's problems are just as bad as our own.
Career: A job ... that has gone on for way too long.
Chaos: What erupts when he who lives in a glass house invites he who is without sin ... for dinner.
Common Knowledge: The reference cited for the statistic you -- just made up.
Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds
Happiness: Seeing your boss' face on the side of a milk carton.
Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to
avoid quitting.
Kids: People to be nice to. Since they are the ones who will choose your nursing home.
Liberal: A church with four commandments and six suggestions.
Macho: Someone who jogs home from a vasectomy.
Old: When you fail to recognize either the band or the guest host on Saturday Night Live.
Outrageousness: Anything that would make your mom use your middle name.
Paranoia: Having a rear view mirror on your stationary bike.
Regret: Making the final payment on the engagement ring three months after the divorce becomes
Resume: The closest to perfection any of us will ever come.
Runaround: What the insurance companies give you to encourage an active lifestyle.
Stupidity: Allowing the child with stomach flu to sleep on the top bunk.
Vacation: A time just long enough to be missed, yet not long enough for them to discover how
well they can get along without you.
War: An execution supersized.

Copyright 1998-2002 by Joe Heuer - Author & Speaker.
You can visit the world of Joe Heuer at

Some of the Funny Things In Life are
The Best Things In Life ...
Stay Tuned. There Is
Much Coming And Much
More To Be Sprung.
For A Look Around
RED Links Are Hot !
Spring 2002
The Fashion Well

Take A Look
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