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ToTaLLy CoOL ®
Welcome To
Joe Heuer's
It Is TIME To Laugh ! ! !
" If you want to Capture the World,
capture it with a net ... a ToTaLLyCoOL.net "

Beer Cans: What will always be rolling around on the floor of your car the day the boss asks for a
ride home from the office.
Better: What we instantly feel when we find out our neighbor's problems are just as bad as our own.
Career: A job ... that has gone on for way too long.
Chaos: What erupts when he who lives in a glass house invites he who is without sin ... for dinner.
Common Knowledge: The reference cited for the statistic you -- just made up.
Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds
Happiness: Seeing your boss' face on the side of a milk carton.
Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to
avoid quitting.
Kids: People to be nice to. Since they are the ones who will choose your nursing home.
Liberal: A church with four commandments and six suggestions.
Macho: Someone who jogs home from a vasectomy.
Old: When you fail to recognize either the band or the guest host on Saturday Night Live.
Outrageousness: Anything that would make your mom use your middle name.
Paranoia: Having a rear view mirror on your stationary bike.
Regret: Making the final payment on the engagement ring three months after the divorce becomes
final.
Resume: The closest to perfection any of us will ever come.
Runaround: What the insurance companies give you to encourage an active lifestyle.
Stupidity: Allowing the child with stomach flu to sleep on the top bunk.
Vacation: A time just long enough to be missed, yet not long enough for them to discover how
well they can get along without you.
War: An execution supersized.

Copyright 1998-2002 by Joe Heuer - Author & Speaker.
You can visit the world of Joe Heuer at
http://www.daffynitions.com

Some of the Funny Things In Life are
The Best Things In Life ...
Stay Tuned. There Is
Much Coming And Much
More To Be Sprung.
For A Look Around
RED Links Are Hot !
Spring 2002
The Fashion Well

Take A Look
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